I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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