why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
