What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
