He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
