I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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