everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
