i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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