i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You did what with his pubic hair?
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