I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
