Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
