Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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