just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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