oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
