I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
