I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
