im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
