In America we eat man semen.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
