I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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