I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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