You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
