Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
