Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
