we're blogging at a bar
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh god it's open bar.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
