so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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