i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
