She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
