I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
