Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
