I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
