This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
