Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
