Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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