I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
