STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
