Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want to make a zoo with you.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
