You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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