one might say we're banned from that church
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
