oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
how drunk are you?
Several
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
