you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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