too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
