i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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