You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex on a dog bed..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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