mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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