Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
