Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
wow bdsm is so cute
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
