Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.

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(406): View more from Montana

we convinced you the moon was a planet...again

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied

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(330): View more from Ohio

yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon

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(626): View more from California

Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.

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(661): View more from California

Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.

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(706): View more from Georgia

If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.

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(716): View more from New York

I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.

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