It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
