she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
