quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
