I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
