Yo dont text me then not text me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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