The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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