jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
